Most Weird Things Maids Do

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Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Zambia in the Sun » 12th December 2012, 18:42

hey nytnyt iwe, don't be argumentative. he he he.

anyway seriously my friend, I hope you, like me and my bro Spa, are not planning to put the lives of your own children in the hands of some juvenile maid or any kind of maid for that matter.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by nytnyt » 12th December 2012, 18:35

Zambia in the Sun wrote :
> nytnyt
> liquor for kids is bad enough. enough Cough medicine to sedate the kids is
> even worse. Cough medicine has alcohol plus other funky crap in it. That's
> my opinion. But to paraphrase brother Spa, the best medicine is never to
> hire a maid in a million years.


I'm totally aware of the dangers of cough mixture, was only saying at least it wasn't a brandy, whisky and vodka cocktail.....

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Meme » 12th December 2012, 08:53

Chishupu Mwaninyela wrote :
> Really weired things that maids do, I am a male and when I was a kid my
> mum left me with the maid just like what all of you do. One day, the maid
> took me to her bedroom and she removed her panties, widely opened her
> thighs and showing me her clitos. Like she is playing with it, she said to
> me "this is what they call a bean".

I prefer Chishupu's maid because my children will watch live adults movies when I am away. What a generous maid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please dear Zambia help out to get me one of the maids like the one for Chishupu if you kow any. Ya!Ya!Ya!Ya! yes my children will know kabeans.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Zambia in the Sun » 11th December 2012, 21:48

nytnyt
liquor for kids is bad enough. enough Cough medicine to sedate the kids is even worse. Cough medicine has alcohol plus other funky crap in it. That's my opinion. But to paraphrase brother Spa, the best medicine is never to hire a maid in a million years.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by nytnyt » 11th December 2012, 21:15

At least mine used cough mixture to sedate the kids.....

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Zambia in the Sun » 11th December 2012, 21:07

What about that maid who was caught mixing hard liquor into the children’s drinks so they could go to sleep and she doesn’t have to deal with them

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Spa » 11th December 2012, 17:15

Prof

You know how it was back in the days when looking for a maid. You ask your neighbour's maid if she knows anyone, the maid then goes back to her hood with word of a job mu ma yard and then you have are landed with sleeping beauty for a maid. Our parents did things different back then and looking back, very relaxed about trust issues. I for one would never entrust a maid with my child, even if she was screened by the FBI, CIA and M15 - NO WAY!

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Chigamba » 11th December 2012, 02:13

Spa my darling,

Thank you. I will take your suggestion under advisement. Yes I could use some extra coins, if I could learn how to apply my skill to the benefit of civil society.

But my darling Spa, I still feel I should have a pep talk with your parents. What ever possessed them to hire a maid without a good background check and without giving her an entry exam before entrusting her with the entire house and the children?? If I was hiring a maid (something I never plan to do), I imagine I would ask the prospective maid to thrill me with her expertise, while I watch and take notes. I’m sure a maid like your 1-day maid would never make the cut.

Although I realize these things are easier said than done. Easy for me to say since I have never and will never hire a maid.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Spa » 10th December 2012, 12:09

Prof

A day dear, a day. Not two days,second day she did not get a chance to catch a glimpse of the sofa as she was fired upon reporting for day two.

Prof, you are wasting your talents here. I am not sure where you are but consider setting up an organisation that helps the law in catching sneaky lying characters instead of beating liar drums on DZ.

I hope your profession does not get you wired one day or have your face rearranged because of it. All the best dear.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Chigamba » 10th December 2012, 08:20

It’s Professor, my darling Spa. Professor Chigamba. The Professor title, of course, having been conferred upon me by my peers. In honor of my excellence in lies :)

Hey Spa my darling, I believe you. Pease don’t pay attention to my 'monkeying' around. So you once had a complete bitch for a maid. For two days! I believe you, darling. I mean, who could ever fabricate such a cockamamie tale?? It’s gotta be fact.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Spa » 10th December 2012, 01:33

Mr(Mrs?) Chigamba

This is the problem liars have, they tend to eye the whole world with a suspicious eye thinking everyone is doing what they do.

Maybe I will rephrase my wording and make it more clear so you don't come back to give me stick about lies. Here goes...

When I was in grade 5 my family employed a new maid to help look after my siblings and I. I was the oldest at the time. Our school was a good 5 minute walk from home and the new maid's first day happened to be my grade's sports day so I was home early. When I got home I found her doing some half arsed cleaning and then made a hearty lunch for herself(big pap) without asking me if I was hungry or making any food for me nor my sisters who would be home after lunch. After that she lay down on the sofa, watched some tv and later came outside to ask me and my friends not to make noise as we where disturbing and went back to snore on the sofa - let's not forget the state she left the bath, to this day I still cannot comprehend how one can leave such marks in such places. That was her first and last day as my father was waiting for her to show up the next day so he could tell her things she would remember for a while before removing her from our property.
No it was not an ongoing thing as she did not last.

I hope this clears up a few things my dear.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Chigamba » 9th December 2012, 23:13

My darling Spa,

Learn from masters of lies like me Chigamba. When I tell a lie, even big men weep like little school girls because my lie is so believable.

You say: "...a maid who would spend the day napping on the sofa. All the adults where out and she would tell me not to make too much noise with my friends as we were disturbing her. Before leaving, she then ran herself a hot bath..."

Then you say: "Needless to say she was physically removed from the house on the second day she reported for work."

You see my darling, in the first line you made it sound like this was an ongoing thing. Definitely not something that lasted one or two days. Then in the second line you help expose your own lies. No, no, no! My darling Spa, that' not how professional liars do it. Please go back to lying school :)

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Spa » 9th December 2012, 01:41

When I was younger we had a maid who would spend the day napping on the sofa. All the adults where out and she would tell me not to make too much noise with my friends as we were disturbing her. Before leaving, she then ran herself a hot bath, used our toiletries and clean towels leaving the bath in a state. I mean dirty hand and foot prints on the tiles and walls like it was a traditional dancer who had spent the whole day dancing in mud who took a bath while doing wall gymnastics. Needless to say she was physically removed from the house on the second day she reported for work.

Then we had this maid who used to pop kids every year by some random drunk she met in some shabeen. She had about 10 kids from different men last time we heard from her, come rain season she would leave to go and sell maize and things by the road side and come back begging for a job later. These two women come to mind when I think of a maid and always come to mind when I read some horny husband is screwing the help....I mean seriously? It says a lot about the class and standards of that man.

Unless maids have evolved with time in terms of hygiene and sometimes arrogance for a sensible man to think 'Mmmmm I think I want to leave my wife for the help'.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Spa » 9th December 2012, 00:53

Lixy

You have self control. If I caught one of these ghetto chick maids doing something like that to my child I would be asking you all where is the best place for unmarked graves. The method I would kill that maid would be more merciful compared to what my son's father would do to her.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Kunda » 8th December 2012, 20:44

Oh Lixy Iam so sorry. Unfortunately maids are like men, they behave like they were born from one woman. If you take to the police, what will they do? Church? Pray for her? Just fire her at once!

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by lixy » 8th December 2012, 20:24

my mother in law and my wifes kid sister found the maid urinating the water for bathing my son,imagine,i wanted to strangle her to death with my bare hands luckily for my inlaws presence,i chased the she-devil,but shes coming pleading for mercy and citing she didnt knw wat used her,
am so hurt i dont knw wat to do wit her,take her to police or church kaya,
i dont knw if she was performing rituals,or witching my boy kaya,pipo help me pliiiz

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Commoner » 6th December 2012, 18:05

Sleeping with the man of the house. And behind the woman of the house too!

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Post by Prem » 6th December 2012, 14:22

This is fantastic. I like the bold names for the big top-chompers. Can we plaese have a naming contest or poll for the next one? It takes a village to name a tooth, you know. Or, in the alternative, can I buy naming rights for the next one? Perhaps corporate sponsorship could earn you some extra cash the Barnes and Noble Bicuspid or the McDonalds Molar? Toothpaste companys would probably be most interested, but I couldn't think of any alliteration for Crest or AquaFresh, but I bet you can.Hannah

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Post by Nithin » 6th December 2012, 13:53

Leaving the note will not work because the maid needs to do eethyvring her job requires or else she gets in trouble. You have to speak to the management and then they will give the maid permission to not make your bed according to hotel regulations.

Re: Most Weird Things Maids Do

Post by Sheet » 28th November 2012, 18:11

Chishupu Mwaninyela wrote :
> Really weired things that maids do, I am a male and when I was a kid my
> mum left me with the maid just like what all of you do. One day, the maid
> took me to her bedroom and she removed her panties, widely opened her
> thighs and showing me her clitos. Like she is playing with it, she said to
> me "this is what they call a bean".



Chishupu iwe finish the story. Did you nail her? I can practically see you salivating when you recall that incident.

You lucky bastard. I never had a maid so obviously that means such good fortune never came my way.

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