Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

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Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby locator » 21st December 2015, 19:36

Dear Zambia,

Hey rude, I think I can help you with your Christmas chicken. But please keep it under wraps. There is a house on the northwestern end of Kalingalinga compound where the owners keep free range chickens. Go there with some grain and lure the chickens out of the fence by sprinkling the grain within their view. Then nab one and run like the wind. Trust me, the owners will be none the wiser.

Good luck
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locator
 

Re: Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby locator » 21st December 2015, 19:40

was it you Rude or was it your drinking buddy Airborne who was hunting for that chicken? I can't quite remember. please my apologies if I confused the two of you. But if it was not you please kindly pass on the tip to Airborne
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locator
 

Re: Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby RudeNudeDude » 22nd December 2015, 07:45

Ahhhhh Locator, you my friend is what every community needs for a political leader.

May I suggest ward Chairman for a start. Your directions are quiet impeccable but I'm a bit scared because I once heard a while back that some very smart African put a curse on their chickens that once you are done eating Chibelo the bloody fowl starts clocking right inside your belly. Now picture a grown man like me sounding like a kombwe at a local beer holo.

I have just settled on a Ka Nyonyi locator my guy the only piece of advise that I need is from you is help to locate a string shot supplier and some bush somewhere where I cant be arrested for trespassing to allow me happy hunting.

Mudye Bwino Christmas
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Re: Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby funky boner » 23rd December 2015, 20:43

Why not do what the rest of us will do.

Go and get a bird on Nkongole and take the think=ng home.

Roast the thing over some charcoal (middle finger to ZESCO). Hit the compounds and get some Akiki wine or Skokian and buy a 2 litre soft drink.

You and the madam (if any) get high on the ilicit alcohol and the kids eat roast chicken. Play music from your phone and make merry.

Budget = K60/00

Merry Xmas
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Re: Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby RudeNudeDude » 24th December 2015, 08:52

Funky Boner.

Sorry to give you a small comment.

But your ability to cost cut is impeccable.... We need to replace Alex Chikanda after he leaves office next month or so.
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RudeNudeDude
 

Re: Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby funky boner » 24th December 2015, 09:17

with encouragement like that, I'm taking further cost cutting measures

1/2 the chicken has been reserved for 2016 Xmas.

Owing to the reduction in the family water budget (as the rain is providing free water from the tin roof top), Management has decided that the alcohol rations shall remain.

Also, I managed to find a couple of condoms (albeit they are used). So Mama oh mama is it on tonight! No more kids, the ones we have are enough. One boy to carry on the family name in prison and one girl to keep the family shame on the streets at night.

Boss just announced a half day at work. What the hell am I going to do for the other half? Nobody will send me out to get their lunch from which I can get a few coins change, and eat their left over scaps.

I hate the boss.
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Re: Rudenudedude, I found your Christmas chicken

Postby Chaisa miser » 24th December 2015, 09:23

RudeNudeDude wrote :
> Funky Boner.
>
> Sorry to give you a small comment.
>
> But your ability to cost cut is impeccable.... We need to replace Alex
> Chikanda after he leaves office next month or so.



This Alex Chikanda, is he the same man who was arrested in Kamwala last week after he was caught trying to shove a stolen loaf of bread in his trousers? I came upon that scene only minutes after the cops took him away
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Chaisa miser
 


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