I was brutalized by the dentist

[Nkhuli]

Dear Zambia,

No this is not some horror story. I just went for a teeth cleaning and my gums were sore for several days after that. That tender food diet was killing me.

Them gums have just made a full recovery so now I’m taking recipes for a juicy steak. I like them thick and bloody. Does anyone know a good recipe for a juicy grilled steak?

Thanks in advance.

[Guest]

If you want it 'bloody and juicy' why bother grill it? just eat the damn cow....

[Nkhuli]

hey Guest iwe, don't be a smart ass. Do you got a recipe or don't you got one?

Grilling steak on very high temperature cooks the outside to almost a black crisp but the inside is bloody as hell. That is a good steak. I just want help with seasoning, marinating and the like.

[Guest]

The best recipes are accidents so get your salt, red chilli, black pepper, fish spice, lemon and herb, tomato sauce, Worcestersauce, pour it all on the steak, leave in fridge for an hour then grill for 15minutes at 300 degrees, enjoy!!!!!

[Nkhuli]

That sounds like a winner recipe. Thanks, Guest. I will give it a go

that Worcester sauce sounds especially caveman-ish. Exactly my style.

[zipped my willy]

Come on fellows. We all know that roasting a steak in an oven or electric grill is a bad idea.

Mbaula was invented for just that reason.

Dude, don't forget vinegar in your marinade. It breaks up the protein fibres and softens the steak. Dwinga the steak with a chi foloko too. That will get the marinade into the nyama.

Malaiti cooking is not good, especially with DJ ZESCO doing the psychedelic stobascope lights.

Unless you want to be back in the dentists for cracked teeth marinade the hell out of the steak.

@guest - you cracked me up with the advice to eat a live cow.

[Nkhuli]

zipped my willy,
Thanks. Those are some very appetizing ideas. Yes that 300 degrees may sound too chizungu and too electrical, but believe me, I have no inclination of cooking my nyama on anything electric. 300° is just a gauge. I'm sure if cavemen were having this conversation they would say, fire up that mulilo until the cavemen beyond the valley can feel the heat.

As I have always told my friend, I was born on the right continent but wrong century. I should have been born in the stone age. Now that was an exciting time to be a man!

[mukolwe]

ba nkhuli, your dentist poked your gums too much, sure the gums are supposed to be sore after teeth cleaning, but just for a few hours not days. the next time you go back, ask for a different dentist, i hope you've that choice.

i like my steak medium to well done, i can't stand rare stake

i never knew at vinegar can be used to soften the meat. i use soy source to tenderize my steak.

wish i could use imbaula throughout the year

i usually marinade my steak overnight, about 8 hrs using various herbs depending on the taste i'm striving for bring out

bone appetite

kalebalika mukwai

[Nkhuli]

Mukolwe,

Thanks for your concern.

Yes I’m fortunate enough to have that choice. After wandering through many dentists, I settled for this one. She has a soft touch. And she has ultra modern equipment.

It is really my fault. Missed two cleanings in a roll and I’m not too keen on doing a thorough job with flossing. So after I finally went for my cleaning she recommend the “deep cleaning” not just the regular. It was brutal and taught me a lesson to be a good boy about keeping my dental appointments from now on.

You are not alone in your taste of steaks. I think you are in the majority. I know only one other friend of mine who likes his steaks as rear as I do. Yes I know all about the health concerns, but I still love those bloody steaks. And now I have all these tenderizing tips. Things are looking better and better, ba Mukolwe ka.

[mukolwe]

ba nkhuli, you and i both my friend, i am just as bad at not going for regular cleaning and when i go there after missing a few, so much plaque has build (that's what the dentist tells me) up they have to drill with some sharp metal things....with all this technology, can't they come up with better ways than poking with sharp metals.

its never fun at the dentist, mine now have tvs in the ceiling so you can watch while you get butchered. how the hell do you flossing the last couple of molars? nearly impossible esp. using those dental floss tambos. try using the ones that come with a handle like a tooth brush but have flossing threads at the end, you'll be able to floss those gapes between your wisdom teeth too

remember no kutonkola (picking your teeth) after all that steak helps keep your teeth healthy lol

kalebalika mukwai

[Dentist]

Believe me that dentist of Hermosa Beach will treat your teeth problem easily and you can get your gorgeous smile. You can also book an appointment online for dentist Hermosa Beach. Just visit there once and you will see result.

[Cornflakes]

I recall not steak but an addiction to Cornflakes Kellogg's to be precise chipped my premolars. I felt a rickety-like squeaky gate feeling for days upone end. Little did I know that I had created a gap so cavernous, perfect for food dropping. I guess the tale went that food attracted bateria, bacteria made acid and acid ate my pure enamel right upto the nerve. Apparently you only realise the problem when it gets on your nerves. After chemical solutions and painkillers I relented and finally accepted the chair offered by the dentist not to be confused with the one offered by the University. The anasthetic worked and after some rock and roll dancing by my Chinese dentist me and the rot of me parted Company. ( My tooth is now employed ). The lesson is brush your teeth 2 times a day properly for 1 minute. Then visit your dentist each 6 months. I hope this is a breath of fresh air. Enjoy your Steak or Cornflakes now.

[Gumugumu]

Cornflakes iwe,

What the hell are you doing here, when you should be on radio or TV telling fables to children, and making loads of money? You hypnotized me with your story so much that by the time I got to the end, I was disappointed that it had ended so quickly.

[Slumdog shalapungu]

Mukazi suka meno , why do you need a dentist to brush your teeth like a child.Ndimwe muka vula mukumwa mununka kwati chi dunk . You will forever have mangwenu and be lizaling mufyoli when the wind passes through your mouth swine iwe. If a toothbrush is complicated for you use chimutengo and ashes. Mwana listen to me who has teeth as white as henry cele in shaka and never been to the dentist, buy yourself those water flossers and a sonic care tooth brush. Trust me your meno will beka like that villain menomeno in james bond the spy who loved me film

[Garlic breath]

I just hate it when you have eaten fish for Lunch and find there is a strong smell of fish coming from your Mouth when talking to workmates or nice Ladies. I discovered that even mint or toothpaste can do nothing to relieve you of the smell of your fish remains languishing in your Mouth. A shame if you have no choice but fish for Lunch but for those important moments like kissing your secret admirer at work, choose beef. Just wanted to clear the air. No mouth odours necessary.