I want to be a constable in the Zambia Police

[New recruit]

Dear Zambia,

I am a grade nine graduate. Perhaps that is a bit mediocre as far as education goes. But I have two secret weapons.

1. I can run very very fast. I doubt any criminal here in Lusaka can outrun me.

2. I can wrestle a big fat hog to the ground. These skinny-bones criminals in Lusaka will be no match for me.

So how about it Zambia police big captain, or whatever the hell your rank is? If you don’t recruit me into the Zambia Police force it will be your loss. Because as a Zambia policeman I can be one hell of an asset to you.

Think about it and I will be waiting for your positive response right here. But remember, time is of the essence. I cannot wait forever while you sit on your fat ass and contemplate my irresistible offer.

[Mgonelo]

ZP chief, , hey dude, are you even fùcking alive?? I offered you an unbelievable proposal. why are you not jumping to take my proposal? you son of a bitch