KAPENTA

[Njala]

Dear Zambia,

I read on another thread someone mentioned kapenta. All of a sudden I got hungry and wanted to eat a big lump of nshima with kapenta. The only problem is that I can't find genuine kapenta here where I live. If I send someone some cash in Zambia, can you please mail me some kapenta? I can trust you on your word. But if you eat my money I will put a witchcraft spell on you. You will grow a sixth finger on each hand. Seriously. Any takers on this business deal proposal?

There will be a small fee for your trouble. How does K10,000 sound? I'm cheap, I know. But K10,000 for doing almost nothing. That's not too bad. Just walk to the market, buy kapenta, wrap it up in an air-tight container (so customs here will not smell it) and walk to the post office and mail it to me. Hmm, now it's beginning to sound like a load of labour involved. How about I make it K100,000 for your trouble? How's that? any takers?

[Nigerian businessman]

Can i give you my account number so that you can send the money to me, you can trust me. just to let you know, there is currently a shortage of kapenta due to fishermen strikes at the moment so as you can gather the price has gone up slightly. a kg will now set you back about k500,000, but i know a guy who can supply at k450,000. your total bill comes to k450,000 plus k100,000 commission and k200,000 postage.

[Njala]

So for total of about K750,000, I can be enjoying nshima with kapenta at my dinner table, in a matter of a few short weeks. Now things are really cooking,,, in a manner of speaking. And as an added bonus, you are a Nigerian. The beacon of trustworthiness on the entire African continent.

As a businessman, I am sure you will find my next proposal irresistible. I will sweeten this deal in your favor. Buy me a kg of the finest kapenta money can buy, ship it to me at your expense. When I get the package I will wire you $300 american. How is that? We are talking K1.5 million. That's more than double what you will spend. A 100+% profit for you, my good man.

I told you, my proposal is irresistible.

[Guest]

some postings yenangu mwandi!!!

[Rudenudedude]

how about you go fishing for kapenta your self.....kuli bonesha taaa we start DHLing ur bosom kapenta shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Rogue Trader]

Njala

You must be a horrible person! How else does one explain the fact that you don't appear to have family, relatives, friends or old school mates to send you the stuff?

[Njala]

iwe chi Rogue,
never mind about my relatives and friends. It's a long story. Are you proposing to buy the kapenta for me?

[Chitunguza]

I just came back from the Zambia online homepage. There is a picture of fresh kapenta and now my hungry belly is growling. at least I think it's fresh kapenta. It may be dry, I cannot be very certain. I have beer goggles right now. But the kapenta looks plump so..